We are all guilty of, at one time or another, forming judgements about someone else - or falling victim to judgements from others. While we never know the motivations of other people, our reactions to them can prove to be our biggest teacher. Each person we meet along our journey can teach us valuable lessons if we are willing to learn.
A judgement is a mirror for you. An honest look at a judgement through self-awareness will identify areas in your life that you are judging yourself. You will learn the areas in your life that are unhealed.
If someone forms a judgement towards you and it’s an area that you judge yourself for, you may feel hurt by that comment. On the other hand, if that same remark is stated and it’s an area that you don’t judge about yourself, then it probably wouldn’t bother you.
In a retreat I attended, we had the incredible awkward task of walking up to an otherwise stranger and telling them a judgement we had about them. On the receiving end of this assignment, I was told a numerous amount of times that I was judged on my ability to joke around and laugh. Truthfully, while my life is not perfect, I’ve been through enough in my life that I try and live my life with a light-hearted approach. I like to laugh. I like to make other people laugh. It makes me feel good. This judgement from others didn’t bother me. The reasoning for the assigned task was just this point. I was able to see that perhaps it was an area in their life that they felt uncomfortable with.
When we fall into judgement, we are allowing our ego to overshadow the uncomfortable parts of ourselves. When we become more self-aware of judgement and the reactions we have to it, we begin to live out of a place of love, self-acceptance and neutrality.
It doesn’t mean that you don’t have opinions. It means that you operate from a place of compassion and understanding. It means that you are willing to identify those areas that need some healing.
The next time you recognize judgement, ask yourself where it is coming from. If it’s a relationship you are judging, is there something about a past or current relationship not healed? If it’s about someone’s appearance, are you fully comfortable in your own skin?
It’s so easy to form judgements and opinions about others. It’s much more difficult to look in the mirror and past the surface and heal parts of yourself.