Love is Patient, Love is Kind

In a world where over 50 percent of marriages end in divorce (and yes, I’m one of them), it was an amazing feat to be able to watch my parents celebrate 50 years of marriage. The Golden Anniversary! They have experienced the ups and downs of what it takes to keep a marriage together. They have juggled the joys, trials and tribulations of raising a family and weathered the economics storms of recessions while running a successful family business. They are a true example of what it takes to make love last.

I truly believe that you cannot love another until you love yourself. Loving yourself does not mean that you are arrogant, conceited or thinking that you are better than anyone else. Loving yourself is having self respect, self confidence and unconditional self acceptance. Loving yourself is having a healthy regard for yourself knowing that you are a worthy being.

When it comes to relationships, loving yourself means that you operate from a place of love, honesty, and acceptance. It’s becoming aware of yourself and identifying your triggers. It’s allowing yourself to be vulnerable and all of yourself to be seen. It’s effectively communicating all of these things and ensuring that your needs are heard and met.

“An outstanding love doesn’t come from two half-fulfilled people coming together to make one whole, complete life. Outstanding love comes from two whole people coming together to share and enhance their already full and beautiful lives.” ~Pia Scad

While I am certainly no relationship expert, I have taken the time to learn and grow and heal from my past experiences. In my own self actualization, I recognize that while I love my relationship, I don’t depend on my relationship for happiness, validation, or self worth.

Some tips to love yourself and your relationship:

1) Honour yourself and your feelings. Accept that your emotions are real.Connect with your soul.

2) Ask yourself what your body needs? A walk in nature, a healthy snack, more water. All of these things are important to loving yourself which will in turn make you a better partner.

3) Take time to play. Our lives are so busy juggling the demands of work and family. If only a few minutes out of your day, find some time to enjoy something that makes you happy.Take care of your needs. We are often so busy doing everything else for others that we forget about ourselves. Take the bubble bath, go for a walk, meditate. Even a few minutes a day makes a huge difference.

4) COMMUNICATE the above four tips. It is in our own willingness to express ourselves completely that we can be heard and met. No one can read your mind. If you need something, ask. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.

In a world where the demands of family and work are becoming greater and greater, it’s important to not lose yourself in the hectic pace of life. Honour yourself a little bit every day. Find something to be grateful about in those not so great moments. Laugh. It’ll make you a happier person and an equally happier partner.

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