(Five personal growth strategies that don't actually work.)
Yes, I know you've felt like this before! You've read tons of self help books, but nothing changes. You sit and try to imagine the life you want, but it feels like you're going in circles and nothing is really working out in your favor. You start to feel discouraged and then you begin to doubt all
self help niches because your self help goals just didn't work out.
I've been there and done that!
But one thing I can say is not every self help coach, blogger or therapist is a scam! I promise you!
People fail at self help because of many different things. But today I'm going to explain the main reasons your self help books are not actually helping you.
1. Taking risks
One of the main things I often read in self help books is that the key to being successful is to take risks. As much as we admire the stories of those billionaires that decided to take a risk on launching their business and it actually worked out for them... taking risks is not always a good thing. The key to taking risks and being successful is planning, not just jumping out on faith. You need to ask yourself questions like....
Do I have enough money, time and resources to accomplish this goal?
Is this goal a realistic goal?
Do I honestly want to achieve this goal for myself or someone else?
Is there something I might not have thought about, when it comes to achieving this goal?
2. Being overly dedicated to bettering yourself
It should come to a point in your self help journey that you should begin to feel content and appreciative of how far you've come. You should be able to clearly see your growth.
Bettering yourself is a great thing, the problem comes in when people begin to almost have this obsession with self help. Even when they have reached their goals it's never enough. They become so wrapped up in the idea of being better that it begins to drive them crazy.
So what I'm saying is... Have a limit! Don't become so obsessed with being better that you are never content. There will always be something you can get better at, or somewhere in your life that still needs growth.
It's ok to want to be better, but where does it end?
3. Reading tons of self help books
I hate to say this but, every self help book you read will not help you! Everyone has had their own journey so things that may have worked well for them may not necessarily work for you. Their concept may not fit you.
This happened to me. Many years ago when I first got into self help I would read tons of self help books looking for the answer to my problems. But my problems were never answered because my own situation was unique to me. Other people hadn't gone through the same things I had been through, so by following their advice it got me nowhere.
It's best to actually invest in hiring a coach or therapist that can create a plan that specifically works for you.
4. Relying on your friends and family
This leads me to my next point. There is a time and place for everything. Just like the self help books that I had been reading before, everybody will speak off of their own personal experience because our experiences shape the way we think. So the advice that has helped me may not help you. Same with family. It's best to actually invest in hiring a coach or therapist that can create a plan that specifically works for you. When you listen to friends and family you get all kinds of different advice that may confuse you more than help you.
5. Not changing your environment
You can literally invest in a coach, lay out the perfect plan to achieve all your goals and really believe in yourself, but if you don't take a look at your environment... you will struggle! Sometimes we love people, but they aren't good for us. We have family members who aren't ready to grow, we have friends that have been jealous of us, and we have people that we just outgrow.
It's important to take a step back and examine your environment.
Is your environment helping or hurting you?
When you're around friends or family, do they uplift you or make shady jokes about you?
Examine these things and drop the dead weight so you can grow.
Best of luck on your self help journey and remember that every situation is unique to the person experiencing it.
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